Same old Same old.... a rut

So I wrote the below post a couple weeks ago and never finished it cause I thought I was just being dramatic and really tired at the time.  It's not a couple weeks later and many of my feelings are the same... I'm in a rut.  A big one.  I just feel the need for a break.  I am 100% and completely looking forward to Allume at this point. I'm looking forward to spending some amazing time with my dear hubby and just getting away.  I of course have fears and worries that go along with traveling and leaving my babies behind. But I am trusting in God and praying for peace.  God has almost provided the entire amount that we need for this trip and where we might be short we'll make up in creativity - packing snacks, drinks, and food to take along on the road. He is so good and how/why I ever doubt Him is beyond me.

There's been unrest within our circle of believers lately and that's emotionally draining. I just need a break, to just step away and be refreshed.  Even if I don't learn a thing about blogging and never grow by one reader - as long as I come back learning whatever God intended for me to do so it will be an insane blessing.

************************************************

boy am I in a rut when it comes to making dinner currently. Doesn't help that I've been sick and not wanting to eat anything anyhow.

But I'm just tired of cooking.  I'm tired of cleaning up, laundry, dishes, etc....

October is almost upon us and that means my conference is coming up.  I struggle with the decision to go daily - I am really looking forward to it (excited is an understatement) and can't wait to spend some quality time with Nathan.  But then I hear stories of different families struggling and having a hard time and I wonder if I'm using my money wisely.

But I really want to go and feel like to continue to enjoy my life I need to. I know it might sound trite and a little silly but truly when is the last time you as a mom did something just for you? Truly spent money on something that just you wanted to do and then didn't feel guilty about it?

That's what I thought.

So at this point I'm still headed there and praying for God's peace and blessing upon the trip.