Thursday, February 21, 2013

Desperate: selfishness (mine!)

Sorry I missed a couple chapters the relaunch week took much more out of me than I thought it was going to... plus homeschooling, taking care of a very active 16 month old, well leisure time isn't something I have much of.... oh I have lots of little 5 minute breaks but it's those long periods of letting your mind go and focusing on something else besides them that doesn't happen.... but I'm entitled to that aren't I? I should get my 'me' time right????

Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe

I thought so too until I read this week's chapter again last night... ouch. :(  Now she's not saying that you should never have time away from your children because she does push for you finding the thing that lets you get away for awhile, that lets you recharge and refresh yourself.... she's talking about the day in and day out everyday mundane of life that happens and your attitude towards that.

the not wanting to do X because of Y and honestly looking at Y and figuring out what the root issue is...  this chapter really hit home with me... and then as I was reading I found myself arguing with the 2nd author - Sally and saying yes but you only had one when you did this, it was just you and one baby.... not three very active children... and those excuses just start popping up right and left and I have to take another step back and say 'really?' you just sat there and agreed with everything Sarah Mae said but when push came to shove you backed into the corner again.  sigh... sometimes I wonder if I'll ever learn?

Then I got to this section and it was amazing what it did to my heart - page 87 Sally Clarkson
"You can become neurotic if you try to follow every bit of advice. It will kill your heart for motherhood if you compare yourself to everyone else's ideals. You have to be yourself and live within the limitations of your personality and needs as a woman" and in my mind I added 'and the limitations of your children's personality and their needs'.

(as a side note - something I just uttered while trying to type this - Josiah it's ok if your sister eats a sticker - a little bit of paper might be good for her! yes seriously - what a third child will do to your perspective!)

But back to the above paragraph. This is so hard for me - I struggle with this daily - trying to keep up with others.  Others who seem to have it all together - the perfectly clean house, the children who seem to obey every time, the mothers doing a whole foods program for her family, the list goes on and on and on.... but I have to realize I am only seeing the positive things and not the negative cause well we don't air those things - we don't share the messes and struggles because we don't others to think we fail. ever.  why? that's how we learn - isn't it something we could share with other young moms to help them learn and not repeat our mistakes.....

oh and seriously. just buy the book. you won't be sorry!  Have any of you readers bought this book and are reading it? What do you think about it?

1 comment:

  1. I loved this chapter! While I welcome advice from other moms, I am often disappointed when the advice does not work for my family/child. I loved this chapter for reassuring me that others' advice will not always work, and it is nothing that I did wrong. Every family IS different. And thats ok! :)