But then I discovered something that hurt my heart - something personal. Something that I struggle with on a daily basis. The need for friends... the need to be loved.... the need.... I've struggled with this almost my whole life of wanting to be 'liked', wanting people to hang out with me, wanting to be invited to go places, do things. And for some reason - it just never happens.
I don't believe it's not because I'm not a nice person or fun to be around - I think it's God teaching me that my priorities and desires are not aligning with His. He's been working on me with this for awhile. Every so often something will come up and it will just send me into despair - I will get so hurt and confused. I cry. I mope. I'm miserable for my husband no deal with.
It's sad on my part.
And yet - I take a step back after I wallow for awhile and realize - I don't need them - oh yes I want them, but I don't necessarily need them. . I have the best friends a girl could possibly ever have. I have my Lord. I have my husband. I do have my fellow moms who are liked minded and in the same stages as me. I have my children (they really need me).
So today I'm thankful for God and His work in me. I am thankful for how He uses situations and circumstances to gently guide us towards Him. I am thankful that He is there to forgive and forget so easily - how often do I ignore Him. He sent HIS son to die for me - He loves me that much - I'm pretty sure He wants to be my friend too. Hmmm a very interesting thought.
So today I'll go on, I may be sad, but I have a joy in my heart knowing that God has already provided for me everything that I need - may not be what I 'want' but it is what I need. And that my friends is awesome.
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