Ideals.... we all have them and for the most part we never truly live up to those ideals. Because that's just what they are - ideals - what we wish we had.
Sarah Mae and Sally are so honest that is hurts sometimes. Motherhood is not easy and there never was a promise it was going to be... look at poor Eve - she was the first mother to have to bury a son. There has been suffering since the beginning of life. I did not have one of those *as soon as the baby was in my arms all the pain and suffering just disappeared from my mind* moments. Oh no... I was tired, I was hurting, and I honestly didn't really care. I just wanted to sleep. My first daughter and I had a very love/hate relationship the first year of her life. It was hard. She was a crier.... an all the time crier. My husband and I were very sleep deprived.... our ideals were out the window that first night home and I don't think we ever got them back!
Do I wish it would have been different - sure, but am I thankful for those experiences? yes. They have made me grow into a much more compassionate and caring mother and friend.
I worked full-time after I had my first two children, only quitting my job half way through my 3rd pregnancy... my ideals for finally staying home were high... very high... and I went under soon after quitting my job. Here's a couple reasons why:
- how did my house get so dirty all of a sudden? when I worked no one was home during the day so the house stayed semi-clean (in a manner of speaking) all of a sudden this place was a disaster.
- i was so tired... I was blessed to be able to ride to and from work with my husband which equaled two 30 minutes nap each day - for a lady in her third pregnancy that was awesome
- we were in the middle of a major construction project and I was dealing with *those* people
- it was a brand new routine for my two little ones and I wasn't sure if starting one was even worth it when the new baby would be coming soon and everything would be in upheaval again. so my kids ran wild for a couple months.... that was not good for any of us