Tuesday, January 22, 2013

The end (for now)

Today has been a month since my little one suddenly gave up nursing. I wrote this post about 2 weeks after it happened.... just raw emotions were going through me. I was/am still sad and adjusting to how quickly it ended. BUT I am also thankful that I had the opportunity to nursing my little ones for as long as I did.  In the past 6 years I have either been pregnant or nursing for almost 67 months.... whew. Wouldn't trade that for anything.  There are have been some majorly rough patches but I'm getting through it.  (Thanks to - Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe - on my 2nd chapter and this is not a book on how to raise children, it's a book on how to raise you as a mom)

So I had posted here a couple weeks ago about the status of nursing my baby girl.  Then I posted here that we were having some issues and wasn't sure if we would get through them.

And then it ended.  She woke up on Thursday before Christmas and refused to nurse.  And has not since then.  She just wants nothing to do with nursing and if I offer at all she either cries or laughs.  She's been playing games with mommy's mind for sure.

I struggled majorly.... physically (we were nursing 4-5 times during the day), emotionally, mentally..... I was just sad to have it end so quickly.  All I wanted for Christmas was once last snuggle.... to know it was my last snuggle so I could really concentrate on her.  Her little face so peaceful, the way she would snuggle down against me and wrap her other arm around my back, the way she held onto my fingers (if I wasn't try to multitask - which I SO regret doing so much now), the way her little feet would cross like she was the most comfortable thing in the world.  *sigh*  I really wasn't ready for it to end.  Just a couple weeks ago I had no idea how I was ever going to wean this child - she had no interest in it at all.  And then - boom - it was over.

I wanted her to stay a baby for awhile longer.... if she is my last little one I just wasn't ready to give her up. :(  Oh the tears and hormones my poor husband has had to deal with.  I have been very blessed to not be graced with the monthly visitor the entire time I am nursing... with all three of my children that's just what has happened.  Well now with the sudden stopping of nursing my hormones are out of control and I am miserable.

So my advice to you.... take the time to enjoy it cause you'll never know when they decide they are ready to grow up ..... even if you aren't ready for it :(

Joining in over at Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers because being a mom is one of the greats gratitude I have towards God! 

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