Oh the redeeming love

Yesterday was a hard day in my house. You may have seen the post from yesterday morning about my son.  Or you may have seen my facebook status about lunch time

"under no circumstances should the words be uttered 'the day can't get any worse' because it will times 100. I should go back to bed."

Or you may have called me and got the run down on how bad my day actually was (thank you my dear friend!).  

Or you may have had a day just like mine but had no one to share it with. For you I hurt and pray for you. 

The day did get a bit better. The past couple weeks in our lives have been crazy and busy.  Mommy has been pulled in many directions with many projects.  My babies have not got the love they deserve... the time... the attention... the grace they deserve.  And it finally caught up to me.  I lost my children and had to find them again.  We baked cookies and I let them pick the cookie cutters - we had a cat, some snowmen, couple candy canes, a ton of hearts, a dolphin, a star, and a few pigs.  I let them decorate and use as many sprinkles as they wanted. And while cleaning up I let joy overflow instead of disdain towards the mess. I let thankfulness flow from my lips that I have these babies to do this with.

Maybe you have/had perfect children who never had a bad day, maybe you are/were the perfect mom who never loses her patience or temper.  For that I tip my hat to you. 

I am not that mom. Lord willing someday I will be but for not I am a not. I am still growing an learning. 

But oh my sweet son.... who loves me more than I can imagine. Who forgives and forgets within moments of his mommy lashing out at him. Who snuggles up to me and cries for me at night because he needs to have me near. And I refuse him.

And then I cry. 

And I go to him and love him. I snuggle and hold him close. And the relationship is restored and I vow to have more patience. I vow to have more grace and to look at the under lying reasons for his actions. Oh my sweet middle child who gets shuffled so easily. 

I love you. I really do. But please give mommy a break some days!